Tag Team
by crookedchains
Summary: Stealing money from Kakuzu isn't the easiest thing to do. OC


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Akatsuki**

"Hey Hidan, why don't you shut your fucking mouth?" I hissed through clenched teeth. Said silver haired shit wipe was currently laughing at me because I was loosing all my money in blackjack against Kakuzu. Figures that stupid old miser would ruin my streak of luck.

I'd been feeling cocky today, so I was pushing my limits. Throwing Deidara's clay to see if I could get away before it blew me up, spilling Sasori's vials of poison, and pouring a bucket of water over Itachi's head while he was peeing. I had done the impossible all day and was sure I'd be beating the odds for the remainder of it.

Until I got to Kakuzu.

So, here I am now sitting at the kitchen table in a very uncomfortable wobbly chair getting my ass handed to me by the stitched money freak. And the pressure was really on now because it was down to this hand whether or not I would loose all the money I had saved up for a year. I am pretty much screwed.

Leader dealt out the final hand and...  
"Damn it Kakuzu! You are such a fucking dick!" I screamed throwing the remainder of my savings at his face. I can't believe that cheap bastard won.

You could practically feel him grinning beneath his mask. Yeah, I would be too if I just won 150,000 dollars. He might be happy now but I'll be damned if I don't steal that money back. I'm not an S-ranked criminal for nothing.

* * *

"Kisame. Psst. Kisame." I whispered, leaning in his bedroom doorway.

"What now?" He stated at me. He and I are a what you would call partners in crime but, he probably wasn't too willing to help me because of the last time we set out to do some mischief. We had tried to prank Leader and as punishment we were locked in a very cramped and dark room for about three days. I let out a shaky laugh.

"We'll, it's a funny story really..."

"Let me guess, you want me to help you get your money back?" He sighed. Oh, he knows me so well.

"You're spot on like always, Kisame!" I grinned. I always put on my ass-kisser act when I was persuading people or shark-humans or whatever you want to define Kisame as. He usually would crack and help me, but he wasn't looking like he was being convinced by my flattery. At this point I decided begging would probably get him to agree quicker so I had gotten on my knees and was sending a pleading stare Kisame's way. "I'm sure getting caught was only a one time occurrence, come on Kisa, please."

"Fine." I have him wrapped around my finger.

"Thanks Kisame!" I swung my arms around his large torso and snuggled my face into his chest. He hugged me back with much less enthusiasm.

I released him and pointed my finger down the hallway. "Lets go!"

* * *

"Shhh, you've got to be quiet." I hissed in Kisame's direction. Kakuzu's chest slowly rose and fell. I know, probably not the best idea to go into Kakuzu's room while he in there, even though he was asleep, but then again we didn't really think this plan through. "Where do you think he keeps his money?" Kisame shot me an 'are you dumb' look and pointed toward a black safe. Oh I guess that would be where he put his money.

We snaked our way around the room just like Orochimaru toward the metal box. "How are we going to open it?" I questioned. I tapped my lip.

"Let's break it open with Samehada." Kisame suggested.

"Although that seems like fun, don't you think Kakuzu would notice?"

"He's going to notice that 150,000 dollars is gone anyway. At least if we steal the whole thing and break it open we can blame it on Hidan." Kisame did put up a good argument.

"We'll get all the money he has in there too... Lets do it." We grabbed the heavy safe, well more like Kisame grabbed the heavy safe, and high tailed it out of there. We missed the purple eyes following our retreating bodies as we sprinted out the door.

* * *

"Just hit it!" I whisper yelled.

"What if it makes a lot of noise? Then everyone will wake up and then we'll be screwed!" He spat right back at me.

"Stop being a pussy and just do it! It was your idea in the first place!"

"Fine but when they wake up I'm telling them it was all you."

"What's your excuse for Samehada breaking open the safe while I'm perfectly fine instead of my body being marred?" He didn't have a response for that one.

The ex-mist nin unwrapped the bandages revealing the spiky edges of the large sword. He raised the sword and stopped. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm afraid." I sweat dropped. A swordsman in the Akatsuki who is known for mutilating his opponents was afraid of hitting a stupid metal box.

"Fine. We'll break the lock, just get me a kunai, they're in my bedside table's top drawer." He grabbed one of the small weapons and handed it to me. I tried to smash the lock but soon realized that that would do no good. It was a good lock, intricate and sturdy. I can honestly say I'm not surprised, I'd expect nothing leas of the old man when protecting his money. Good thing I'm a master lock picker. I've been doing this for years. I was taught when I was quite young and even though this would be tough for the ordinary lock picker, it would be an easy task for me. In no time I was popping the lock.

"There!" I said as I pulled the door to the safe wide open. Inside held millions of dollars in cash. Who knew he'd keep that much money in there? It was kinda stupid. Wouldn't it be smarter to separate it so if some delinquents like Kisame and I came in and stole your money you'd still have some left? I did a little victory dance and forced Kisame to join me.

"All we have left is to hide the evidence."

"...You make it sound like we just killed somebody."

"Shut up."

* * *

"This is straining my back." I groaned hauling another shovelful of dirt to the side.

"Stop complaining and keep digging." I glared at Kisame. He was strong and could obviously do this himself, all he wanted was to see me suffer. It was probably payback for calling him a pussy.

I pushed the empty black safe into the now 4 foot hole. Do you think we dug deep enough? The two of us wasted no time hurriedly piling the dirt back into the hole and exiting the area. We cautiously tip-toed into the base and toward our respective bedrooms.

"Night Kisa." He waved his hand in recognition and continued to walk away.

The owner of the purple eyes once again intently watched the two figures, this time snickering and rubbing its hands together before going to hide out and wait until tomorrow.

* * *

The next morning we sat at the table, Kisame and I doing our best to act nonchalant. It was working until Hidan strutted into the kitchen with a Cheshire Cat grin on his face. He sat directly across from the two of us before speaking.

"I know what you assholes did last night."

"What do you mean, Hidan. We were in our rooms sleeping. Last time I checked, there was nothing wrong with doing that." I responded. He laughed loudly.

"I'm going to tell Kakuzu you stole his money and then he's going to feed you to Zetsu. Alive." If his smile got any larger, his face would split in half.

"Don't you fucking dare Hidan." He jumped up and began racing toward Kakuzu's room. Kisame and I had the upper hand because we caught up to him easily and tackled the silver haired Jashinist to the ground.

"Hey Kakuzu, the tag team assholes, Kisame and Sayuri, stole your money!" Shit, we didn't cover his mouth quick enough. There was no doubt, with how loud mouthed Hidan is, Kakuzu heard.

"It'd be a good idea to run now." And so we dashed down the hall like our lives depended on it, because they did. Thick string slipped around our ankles making us trip and face plant on the ground. We were being pulled across the cold floor of the base.

"Nooooooo!" Kisame and I screamed but the ebony stitches continued to drag us down the hallway.

And that was when I realized just how much I hate Hidan.

**I like it :)**


End file.
